(Last photo by Slublog at Hotair.com)

No, I’m not dead.

is the title of the new Indiana Jones movie – so says IndianaJones.com.

So…what do you think?  I was hoping for Indiana Jones and the Search for Preperation H.  But, you can’t win ‘em all.

I’m sure you all saw this on Drudge.  Here’s the text:   

‘GREEN’ GORE GOES GULFSTREAM: VIDEO CATCHES ECO-WARRIOR ON LUXURY PRIVATE JET
Fri Sep 07 2007 07:48:23 ET

**Exclusive**

As former Vice President Al Gore waits to hear if he has won this year’s Nobel Peace Prize for his tireless effort on climate change, a new video will air this weekend capturing Gore on a fuel-guzzling private jet!

FOXNEWS host Sean Hannity is set to unleash the damning video this Sunday night, network sources reveal.

What a dope. 

  Gotta look good for the ladies…

OBL just released another video tape.  After watching, I can’t help but notice something puzzling.  Above is a photo from one of Bin Laden’s videos released in 2004 and next to it is the most recent video.  Although he seems not to have changed his clothes in three years, his beard is noticeably darker…

Is Bin Laden the first metrosexual terrorist?  I mean, you have to look good for those 72 virgins, right?

You can read the entire transcript…here. 

In the tape, Bin Laden goes on a rant about “major corporations,” “Kyoto,” and “global warming” and chastises the Democrats for not ending the war in Iraq.  It’s almost as if he stole John Edwards’ stump speech. 

And how about that Noam Chomsky reference?  Not quite the endorsement I would want.  But I wouldn’t put it past Chomsky to cite this quote in a blurb on the back cover of his next book.  Idiot.  

From Brandon Muller.

Those of you who aren’t Miss South Carolina will get the analogy…

The follow-up question should have been: “can you find the United States on a map?”

Watch Slater, he looks like he’s about ready to bust up laughing.

      Pure magic.

Unbeknownst to most people, The King himself made an unforgettable contribution to the world of delicious chocolate-covered treats.  Before his death, Elvis apparently invented the Peanut Butter & Banana Creme Reese Cup.  Mmmmm.  You need to try these things…seriously.  I hereby bestow the Practical Reasoning Official Seal of Approval on the Elvis Peanut Butter & Banana Creme Reese Cup.  From Elvis’ hometown newspaper:

Brandon Solano, marketing director for Reese’s, says the brand is betting big on the King: 50 million Elvis Cups and 100,000 store displays are being created in the biggest promotion in Reese’s history, he says. Reese’s has even decked out Kevin Harvick’s #29 NASCAR Reese’s car with “Elvis all over it” for an upcoming race.

“Elvis is as relevant today as ever,” Solano says. “He’s an American icon, and in a lot of ways, he’s timeless. I’m told that at Graceland, nearly half the

visitors are under 35.”

Solano says the Elvis Cup idea was born last summer when an episode of American Idol was shot in Memphis.

It took several months to work out the recipe.

“We went through a number of samples,” Solano says. “We had to figure out how much banana to use, should it be ripe or green banana, should it be a circus-type peanut flavor.”

There are four different images of Elvis available on the packaging: Vegas Elvis and ’50s Elvis on the standard cups, Hawaii Elvis on the “King Size” big cups, and ’68 Comeback Elvis on the minis.

     “Huh?”

The Democrat presidential contenders better start staying further away from Barack Obama.  His case of Foot-in-Mouth disease seems to have spread to John Edwards.  More likely though, he’s just an idiot.  John “Two Americas” Edwards, as you undoubtedly know, has run a campaign that Chairman Mao himself would be proud of - with an economically illiterate platform of class warfare, taxing the sucessful, socialist health care, and entitlement expansion.  Then comes this from ABC: 

ABC News’ Rick Klein Reports: When an Iowa resident asked former senator John Edwards Thursday whether the United States should follow the Cuban healthcare model, the 2004 vice presidential contender deflected the question by saying he didn’t know enough to answer the question.

“I’m going to be honest with you — I don’t know a lot about Cuba’s healthcare system,” Edwards, D-N.C., said at an event in Oskaloosa, Iowa. “Is it a government-run system?”

But just three days earlier, the candidate was asked a question about the Michael Moore documentary “Sicko” — which focuses extensively on the Cuban healthcare system.

As Willie Nelson’s classic “On the Road Again” blared, Edwards leaned out of a window of his campaign bus dubbed “Fighting for One America”, to hear an off-camera voice howl, “I wanted to ask ya, is it required that everyone go see “Fahrenheit 9/11″ and “Sicko”?

Edwards, in between autographs outside Dan’s Pizzeria in Onawa, Iowa, replies, “I watched Sicko,” later adding, “It’s a great movie.”

You can watch the moment captured by C-SPAN and spread to the world on YouTube by clicking here.

Guess Johnny Boy wasn’t paying too closely when he watched Sicko.  How very dissapointing.  Even without the Sicko reference, this quote is quite damning.  Tell me, John, besides “government-run” what other kind of health care system do communist countries have?  Either he doesn’t know that Cuba is communist, or he doesn’t know what communism is.  Whichever it is doesn’t speak well to his intelligence.  This leads me to a very profound conclusion: I am smarter than John Edwards. 

Man, it does feel good to be smarter than a presidential candidate.  This isn’t just any presidential candidate, though - this is the guy who was almost Vice President.  And he’s running third behind Hillary and Obama.  That’s big news for me.  Mike Gravel, Dennis Kucinich – yeah, I’m smarter than them too, but that’s not nearly as impressive than being smarter than John  Edwards.  In fact, I’m putting that on my resume.

If John Edwards ever gets wind of this blog (and how could he not) I’m going to offer him a friendly challenge:  a man-to-man, winner-take-all academic decathlon a la Billy Madison - by which I will prove to the world that I am the smarter.  C’mon, John, take me up on this.  I dare ya.    

This says it all…

       Throwing the game?

Professor Barack Obama has, once again, gotten himself into a flap beacause of a foriegn policy misstep.  This time, he’s claiming that the U.S. millitary in Afganistan is doing nothing by bombing civilians.  The quote:

“We’ve got to get the job done there,” he said of Afghanistan. “And that requires us to have enough troops so that we’re not just air-raiding villages and killing civilians, which is causing enormous problems there.”

C’mon man, you know better than that.  The Romney campaign immediately responed:

“That is a very troubling remark on so many levels,” said Romney spokesman Kevin Madden. “Most importantly, it’s emblematic of Senator Obama’s lack of experience for the job of commander-in-chief. But it’s also an entirely inaccurate condemnation of the efforts of the men and women of the United States military who are serving in Iraq and Afghanistan.”

Spot on.

 So, let’s count Obama’s (numerous) missteps on foreign policy so far:

1.  He’s going to visit the leaders of Iran, North Korea, Cuba, and Venesuela “without precondition.”

2.  He’d invade Pakistan, an vital ally in the war on terrorism.

3.  Said that nuclear weapons are “off the table” in any situation.  So much for deterrance.

4.  Promised to meet with the “President of Canada,” despite the fact that Canada has no President.

5.  And now…claimed the military is just bombing villages and killing civilians.

He’s just making this too easy for Hillary…